Maybe your list of things to do today includes some of the following:
· Feed Cat
· Take Out Garbage
· Break Up With Lover
Nobody wants ending a relationship to be at the top of their daily calendar, but the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. Many relationships last long beyond the “sell by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.
Sometimes a break up comes with high drama, with clothes being thrown out of a second story window. Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “I’m outta here.”
How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither one of you gets hurt?
You need to be completely clear why you want to terminate the relationship. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a romance is to be honest with your partner. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to him or her.
Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.
Be compassionate and understanding, especially if your lover does not expect you to break things off. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.
Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.
Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.
Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.
It is important to not let your former lover make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with her or him, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.
Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?” Getting back together is always a possibility. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.
However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.